I was asked a parenting question the other day that I have never been asked before. It never even occurred to me! But the hypothetical question was this: If one of my boys happened to succeed greatly in the same career that I dreamed of succeeding in, but never did, would I be jealous of him?
Oh, boys…What will you be when you grow up?
Good question! Not good in the sense that I had to put a lot of thought into my answer, but a very worthy idea, anyway! My answer, without hesitation, was No!
But the person (who is not a parent, by the way) who asked the question didn’t believe me at first, I think. Here’s what it our conversation looked like:
Her: Really? You wouldn’t even feel any jealously or resentment? It’s the career you always wanted but didn’t get and now your child gets to have it! No jealousy? Not even a bit?”
Me: No! Not at all because I would know that I raised him to find success in that field and if anything, I would feel a whole lot of pride in him.
Her: Wow. Are you sure?
Me: Yes, without a doubt. Their success would be just as satisfying to me as having succeeded in that career myself!
Let me just say, as I am writing this, I am well aware that my responses to her queries could very well sound snooty or self-righteous and that is not even close to my intention at all. Whatsoever. Period. I happen to feel quite passionate about the answer that I was able to give and I know that my feelings are authentic because they came to me so fast even though I have never thought about this before.
I came home that night and mentioned to Chris the conversation I’d had. He was all nods and in agreement with me…that’s a good thing! We’re on the same page about it! I am grateful for having been asked this question because I think it is quite legitimate and thought-provoking. I feel very strongly that there isn’t one correct answer, but many different ways to look at it because everyone is different with varying stories and situations. I can’t wait to see what path my kids are drawn to and what they end up succeeding in. I truthfully just want them to be happy and if they are, then I will also feel like I have succeeded!
I’m curious to know how you would have answered the same question?