Holy Cow! Yesterday was a great day! It was like it was January 1st for me all over again but for real this time. I resurrected my blog, I started practicing Yoga again, I plugged in my new sewing machine and I even had a very successful review at work last night. Banner day! I told Chris in the afternoon after my Yoga practice that I felt alive again, and by that I mean, my body felt livin’!

With that said,  I invite you to join me as I remember the state of my being at 6:07 this morning when I lifted my pained body out of my bed followed by my brain that felt heavy with the weight of (not entirely) the world in it. I suspected the body pain would arrive…I kind of waited for its arrival at the front door of my self. I mean, come on, I made it do things yesterday that it hasn’t done in over a year, friends. 

And my brain, well, lets just say, as necessary as it may be, it is way too over active … and not in a good way. Even my goal for the new year, I decided, would have to do with worrying less. Better yet…not at all. But I think that is an impossibility.

I told my mom that I woke up this morning with a head full of worry and she asked right away, “And how did you handle that?” As if I would triumphantly respond with a brave answer resembling something like, “I shooed it away and replaced it with a positive affirmation.” Or “I prayed about it and handed it over to God.” All things that I should have done and could likely have ended in a positive way. But no. My answer to her was a quick and resounding, “I let it escalate!!” Followed by a nervous laugh.

It’s true. And here’s an excerpt of the nonsense that occupies my brain. Is she mad at me? I think she must be mad at me. Will she become mad at me? Probably. Did I say too much? Did I say too little? How was the tone of my voice? Could it have been misconstrued? What if he’s mad? What if she’s mad? What can I do? What will I do? What if this and what if that? 

So, listen, I’m not telling the tale of a sob story here. I think I can almost see the humor in it and if I’m not mistaken, I remember Lucy from A Charlie Brown Christmas, explaining to Charlie Brown the fact that he realizes he needs help indicates he’s not too far gone. So, there ya go! If Lucy says it, it must be true!