In keeping with the theme of my recent post, “A Love Child Called Gibberish” I’ve gone and done something else, “Because I could.” I had highlights of purple colored in my hair! I know, it seems crazy, but I assure you its not…and neither am I. And it’s not a mid-life crisis. If it were, I’d be driving around in an orange Chevy Camaro. Moving on…I aught to show you a picture so that the news isn’t so hard to take. That is why before having it done I only told my mom and my husband because it’s easy to be afraid of the idea of purple hair! 

 I am so happy with it! It certainly isn’t subtle, but then I wonder, why would it be? It’s purple!

This is when I was getting it done. My stylist had to bleach the strands first, then add the purple.

I didn’t know that. I’ve only had “normal” highlights before. 

It particularly screams for attention in the sun!

 I’m sure I can’t imagine when I would grow tired of it!

I may just have to at least get it redone a couple times! It aught to last about a month and half.

This kind of hair update wasn’t anything I had even thought about before our vacation to Pagosa Springs last month. Not a single thought had come or gone through my mind about it, ever. And it was when we were enjoying an afternoon at the hot springs one day that all of that changed! I spotted a woman there who we guessed to be around 60, with her daughter and grand kids. She wore her hair in a really cute pixie style. The color was white but her bangs had fluorescent pink highlights in them!  I was amazed and had to find out more!  Here’s how my conversation with her went down:

Me: Look at your hair! I just love it!!

Her: Oh thank you!

Me: So, how do you do that? Did you do it yourself?

Her: No, no, I had my stylist do it.

Me: Well, how long does it last? Is it just for right now?

Her: Oh no, its permanent, until it grows out.

Me: Well, Wow! Just Wow! It looks absolutely fabulous on you!

Her: Oh thank you so much! Yea, I’m rockin’ the pink hair!

Me: Yes! You totally are!

All the while the gears in my brain were starting to work in the direction of what if I did that….? In purple!! 

After the woman went back to her family and out of earshot, I said to Chris, “I could totally do that…. In purple!!” I was grateful for his support when he agreed that I really could do that.

As soon as I could, after we returned home from vacation, I called my hair girl and said, “Remember the last time we talked, we discussed covering my gray with more brown? Well, I have a better idea!”

Haha! She was completely on board. She’s a sweet and very hip girl and I knew she’d be perfect for the project. And, she was! 

I went to pick up my kids from school just an hour after I got the purple done. I would debut the purple to the other parents at the pick-up, some of whom are my good friends, before I was even used to seeing it on my own self! The interesting thing about it all, is that I never, never would have done this when I was younger. I would have been too self-conscious. There are always too many looking eyes and judging minds. Not to be mean, but am I right? I’m guilty of it, so I know. But guess what? I have never felt so sure of the person that I have found myself to be at 37! I am not concerned about what other people think of me these days! What freedom! Well, to be honest, when I walked up to the school alone, anticipating looking eyes and judging minds, the nerves crept up just for a moment…but I quickly reminded myself that I love it and this is me. 

The great news is that my friends loved it, too! They told me I was daring and brave. Oh, and one said I was a rebel. Haha! I knew that girl was always still in there-that girl in me that is just a little more daring. She’s been hard to find for the last 15 years, I think. And that’s really, O.K. But, let’s recall for a minute the last time I saw her, she wore a black leather motorcycle jacket year after year, all along certain that soon there would be an actual motorcycle to go with the jacket. Well, there never was an actual motorcycle. The jacket hangs in my front closet these days. But I certainly have always known where it was if I needed to smell it! 🙂 Chris was quick to remind me of the “dorky” glasses that I wore during that time, too. Gosh! How horrible! I put my head in my hands and asked him why I thought that ensemble was OK? And how uncool that look must have been. And he said, “Well, maybe it wasn’t that uncool, or if it was, you didn’t care then, either. You only thought you did.”  Oh, you’re so wise, Chris…

This whole self-rediscovery happened slowly over the past two or almost three years. Ever since I started writing again when Logan was in kindergarten and now more recently allowing  myself to explore other, new avenues of creativity.  After I first became a mother, my focus was totally on being a good and normal one. I was in a bible study at church and had created this stigma for myself of the tame girl I aught to be now that I was being called Mom. Well, after being called that for nine years now and with two boys to show for it, I’ve found that I can let my true self out again. The person who is at my core. And I can still be in a bible study if I wanted to, because God likes self-expression! (haha!) And isn’t that better for my children, anyway? Ain’t Mama happy, ain’t nobody happy! Right?

This time around, since I began writing for me and not anyone else, the creativity didn’t stay put near the safety of my pen and paper, but it spread! It spread way far out to endless possibilities of learning that it isn’t scary to try and make something with my own two hands. It isn’t boring or so Martha Stewart to like to craft! Instead, how empowering to know that I have the ability to just make it myself! Or, attempt to try and make it myself and enjoy the journey of doing it. Quite often a new idea stems from something I try to do anyway!

How could I have known that a blog post which I started with the simple intention of telling the story of the pink haired lady and the purple haired gal would turn into a long explanation of self discovery? Earlier, up there, I called it self-rediscovery. But I’ve decided to leave out the “re-” part. I know I’m leaving it out for some greater, deeper meaning but right now, my neck is falling asleep. So I’ll have to let that lie. Maybe for another time. Something about being in the moment, or always new…I’m not sure yet.

My point in all of this is that I’m sure it doesn’t make a lick of difference what age you are when you find out who your authentic “you” is. I’ve recognized that daring/creative/purple-haired girl in me since high school, but like me, most of my life, she’s been shy. She didn’t know if she’d outstay her welcome. She makes an appearance, stays around awhile, but then lets herself get pushed back. But this time, I’m keeping her close. It feels good to be me and it only took me 37 years to get here!