I knew we’d entered into the big time this year when Logan’s third-grade teacher, Mr. MacIntosh, told us that for the first time ever, my child would be graded according to the letter system. As if school didn’t really count 100 percent during kindergarten, first and second grades and they were really just practice grades for third-grade and onward when the gauntlet really falls. My boy’s classroom is upstairs now, on the second floor of the school with the rest of the big kids. Mr. McIntosh said it himself, they’re the big kids now, no more cushy, bendable rules, no more rainbows and butterflies. Ok, ok, I added that last part….But I want to tell you that I believe it to be true. Standardized testing starts in third-grade. Only one recess per day starts in third-grade. Great big homework projects assigned the first week of school start in third-grade. Such is where this very first letter grade of my boy’s life came from….The assignment was to make a collage about himself on a piece of poster board. And on the day that the assignment was given, he moaned and belly ached about how the only things that he could use had to be found in a newspaper or magazine and he couldn’t hand-write or color any of it and it had to fill the whole sheet of poster board and, “But , Moooommmmm…….I can’t hand write or color any of it!”

I told him that this sounded like a fun project and I would love to be by him while he did it! My enthusiasm wasn’t helpful. He acted as if I just couldn’t possibly understand the severity of limitations he was experiencing by not being able to write or color on it.

He survived the assignment and handed it in Monday morning. When I picked him up from school that afternoon, he handed me a half sheet of white paper rolled up really tight.  

“What’s this?” I inquired.

“My grade for the collage,” he answered. 

I quickly unrolled what I held in my hands to find a break down of what he was graded on and a black A- circled around the top. 

This is a wonderful grade! For his very first letter grade of his life, he got an A-!!!

I cheered for him and encouraged him and explained that an A is very much a grade that he should feel proud of! But guess what my mind did in the midst of all this rejoicing? It panicked and wondered, what must my boy have done wrong to get the minus part of that A?

Can you believe I did that? I know. I can’t either! Of course I didn’t let on like I was experiencing any of this doubt. Because the bottom line is that he got an A and A is for Awesome!

It’s a whole different experience when the grade isn’t my own, but my child’s. I didn’t make very good grades during my schooling. Maybe that has something to do with why I panicked. But also, as third-grade started, a greater sense of pressure built up within me. I’ve felt it a little bit of this pressure even as early as kindergarten and first-grade, because I want my kids to do well in school no matter what. But, he’s my boy and I guess I worry that if he doesn’t happen to do perfectly, then it is a reflection of my parenting and how must I have failed him?

So there you have it. I think I just dropped a big bag of bricks down right there and now I’m turning around and running in the other direction!

Bye!