JEN DEZEEUW
Put a Fork in Me, I Want to be Done
In some ways I find it difficult to believe that this week marks five years since Chris had the seizure which launched us into this crazy adventure. And also, it seems it could’ve happened only a short while ago. Regardless, that’s a really, really long time to endure three brain surgeries; two spine surgeries; five separate sessions of radiation treatments; three years of chemotherapy; and months of physical therapy to walk again…
It’s Not Over Yet
When my friend, Ann, invites me to a women’s event at her church, I know by now to clear my schedule and go. Ever since the Bible Study that I attended with her last spring, I’ve learned that she’s like a vessel and when God puts it on her heart to drag me along, it means there’s something epic He needs me to hear and experience. Last night was no exception…
Hey Son, Your Tween is Showing
It wasn’t until I became a parent that I realized it was out there and that it would one day try and kick the crap out of me.
There’s NO Tumor in my Husband’s Brain!
So Dr. Ney walks into the exam room on Wednesday, the 19th of March, greets us wonderfully as he always does, and says, “The scan looks great! Its clean!”
Let Me Be Brave
And, its comical actually, when I indulge my imagination and picture these four harmless girls, just wanting to be with me, standing up to my army, looking upon it, kinda freaked out probably, unarmed, all the while assuring it of their good intentions and how they come in peace.
Well, this here, is the story of how these girls somehow reasoned with my army and brought me out…
It Was Actually a False Summit
I even thought for a moment about all the stories I wrote last spring about our brain tumor adventures. You know, the adventure-filled tales staring Chris as the Amazing and me as his trusty sidekick! I’ve left so many of those stories unfinished that i’d really like to tell, but the possibility of another chapter with yet another adventure before us overwhelms me and makes my mind struggle to know where to pick up or leave off or even what to prepare for.
48 Hours Until Chris: Part 2
I returned to the darkness of Chris’s ICU room, the weight of the world that I felt the previous evening right after surgery set back on my shoulders. Denial was creeping forth from every part of my being. I couldn’t accept that Chris wasn’t yet the same man.
48 Hours Until Chris: Part 1
One of many prayers I prayed during both brain surgery experiences was that my husband would come out of it the same man he was going in. God did answer this prayer both times, but the second time around, He made me lean on Him a little longer before His reveal. You see, I couldn’t find my husband within himself for about the first 48 hours after surgery.
The Labyrinth & The Wild Things
I’m sure you know how it works, too. You’ve been somewhere or experienced a certain thing, it gets stored in your memory vault and if you ever go back to it and do it again, you have a visual in your mind of what it looks like, smells like, feels like. Its a comfort of familiarity that allows you to enter back in with a greater sense of ease.
On Those Days When I Was Unruly
As my feathers were mightily ruffled on a daily basis, his maintained a lovely order and shine about them. All.the.time. And, to be honest, one of the biggest sources of my feather ruffling was the simple fact that his weren’t.