I hesitated and hesitated to come back here. Here. To my beloved blog. The blog that I so tenderly cared for just a year ago. Not a day passed that I neglected it. I came back every single day to feed it with memories of my children; recipes that nourished my family; movies that warmed my spirit; stories that made us laugh or stir our hearts…

But then something changed. Something else came along that begged for my attention. Something new, exciting, creative and…and CRAFTY!

Dare I say it? I guess I will because anyone who knows me is well aware of what happened. I became a crafter!! There have been a handful or two of blog posts since then that tried to explain what had happened…So, this isn’t entirely breaking news. But I’ll tell it anyway.

Throughout my new adventure in becoming Jen Blossom and discovering that I could create wonderful things with my own two hands, there sat my little computer. On the floor in the corner of the dining room. And I mean to tell you…it was as if it were an old friend who I had turned my back on at the height of our friendship. It was like all of a sudden, a group of new friends came along and offered me more fun and adventure and delight if I went with them and so I did. And it hurt my heart every time I looked over at my computer. There, with big, sad eyes. And what hurt even more was when I’d pick it up to check my e-mail and would still see an open tab for Waiting for the Circus. But it hurt me too much to open it. I left it there, the tab, because I didn’t want to turn my back on it completely–maybe just 98 percent. That’s not as final as 100 percent, after all. It was to make me feel better perhaps, that in my heart I knew I hadn’t given up writing completely and one day I would come back. But would it have me? “It” meaning my ability to write. My ability to find wit and humor and feelings from the heart and type them up right here for the world to see. Ok, ok, I know it isn’t the world and that is fine by me.

When I first started Waiting for the Circus, I was only focused on how many page views I had each day. The more I had, the cooler I was. My validity came from the numbers. I loved the writing, but equally as important were those numbers and I know now how dumb that was. I put so much pressure on myself and when it seemed people weren’t reading, then I thought I wasn’t any good. 

But here is what I’ve realized (and this is a really good thing). I’ve realized that the numbers don’t matter and I am so much happier just writing to write and I don’t care how many Twitter followers I have or if people are leaving comments or not… Ok, I care about that part a little, but just the tiniest bit. 

Moving on…Before Christmas I met with one of my dearest friends of all time who said to me, “Jen, Even I have posted blog posts recently…what the heck is your problem?” And, you know what, it gave me just enough kick to convict myself to open it back up and start writing again in January.

It’s January 7, my friends. And I showed up.

I’m going to learn how to balance my time between writing, crafting and exercising…all in a two hour window Monday through Friday while my beloved children are in school. I will practice grace with myself, however. If I get a blog out once or twice a week…well, then so be it. At least that will quiet the crickets that I think have been partying in the silence of my blog for the past 8 months! 

Since I stopped blogging regularly, my time has been spent building my wrap bracelets and assembling button flower arrangements. I’ve come a long way and have participated in many many sales and it was wonderful and exciting and new. But, now it is the off-season. A down time for me to come back and find my roots here in writing because I truly love it. My friend I spoke about told me that my posts don’t have to be profound. I can blog about what I craft and create and she’s right. I received a sewing machine for Christmas and plan on learning how to use it! Because I want to make bunting! It kind of looks like upside down triangle flags, you know…all attached and lovely and cute and whimsical? I saw a picture of them on Pinterest and said to myself, “I need to make that! But I cannot make that if I don’t have a sewing machine!” So I asked for one for Christmas and because my loving husband is the best, well look below….

As I opened my gift from him Christmas morning, he said, “You know I support you…” 

 I even went and bought this here thread today. I don’t know if it is the right kind or how to even put it on the machine or where it even goes on the machine, but I’m going to find out! Baby steps, you see.

When I’m not sewing, ahem, figuring out how to sew…I thought I might also report bits of the treasure that I’m finding in this new book that arrived in my stocking. I haven’t read a book, mind you, since the final installment of the Hunger Games came out. That was a long time ago. But this book rocks my world. And before I know what’s happening, it makes tears fall out of my eyes and my heart feel like it is squeezing out of my chest-but all in good ways. 

Cold Tangerines, by Shauna Niequist

I feel like I need to climb to the top of a high place and shout about how wonderful it is! Hehe! But instead, I hold a yellow highlighter so that I never forget what I just read that caused the tears and heart pounding business. I haven’t held a yellow highlighter and a book together at the same time since college and even when I did it then, it was only because it made me look studious. I confess that maybe there might have been a line or two of brilliance written by Ernest Hemingway or F. Scott Fitzgerald that moved me to highlight, but that is because I adored them and their dry wit and humor.

So, I say to you now, my one reader…or five or eight…I came back. And although I’m all about a good party, those crickets will have to find a new venue…

P.S. This felt really, really good today. Phew!!