Friend:

— n

1. a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty – Dictionary.com

My friend Tricia and I…

Once upon a time we talked about music, friends, ourselves…

I told my sister a story the other day that she said brought her to tears. It was then that I knew it was a really special story-I already knew it was a special story in my life…but the idea that it was special to someone else made me think more about  the universal truth of friendship. Deep, unconditional friendship-the kind that lasts and lasts. Here’s the story I told her…

I had a wonderful dinner with Tricia Saturday night. When we were saying goodbye, we both got a little emotional when she said that another reason why it is so special that  we’ve been friends for 12 years is because I have seen her through some of the hardest, most rock bottom, times of her life. And now, when she is able to share with me how happy she has finally become, it means that much more to her because I know her past and I can truly experience real happiness for her. She said you can’t just meet someone and try to quick fill them in on the ups and downs of the last 12 years and expect them to understand what a big deal it is that your really, truly happy now.

I wonder how it is that we have remained friends after all these years!  When I say that Tricia is my very first friend that I ever had in this city after I moved her 12 years ago, I feel like it is somewhat of a bragging right. For two reasons. 1) Because this long friendship is pretty much the longest friendship I’ve had in my life (besides he one with my husband-but that’s different!) and 2) Because, well, that’s a really long time and we must be doing something right!

In the Beginning…

You see, I met her right after I moved to Colorado Springs and began working at the Starbucks store downtown where she was a supervisor. I can tell you a few of my first impressions of her, that she was a tough cookie with a strong personality and really short reddish-blond hair that was not a lot unlike my own! But that’s not a big deal, what is a big deal, or noteworthy, is that she wore a little button on her apron that said something like I hate happy people. I remember taking it personally because I was a happy person and I thought that was already one point against me in her eyes well before we really even knew each other!

But, as it turns out, she didn’t hate happy people. She said she used the button as a conversation starter-something like this. I don’t know. But, somehow, we hit it off. I wonder if she even remembers that button! I met her in October and we were pretty tight by the following May when she drove two hours north to attend my wedding!

That’s right! She knew me before I was married-and I can’t say that about really anyone else except for family and close family friends!

Tricia and I worked together for a year after I was married and during that time our friendship grew and grew. We were still kids, though. And by kids, I mean 23 or 24 –years-old, only. We spent a lot of time together, saw each other regularly and ran around with the same crew. She used to come over to the apartment where Chris and I first lived to play Skip-Bo for a few hours before leaving for a night on the town. She and Chris developed a friendship as well.

The Distance Between…

Finally I moved away from the apartment and into our house which was much farther north and east and that much farther away from where she lived downtown. We went on different career paths and met new people. She even had her first baby…And, then I had mine! Our times of going out dancing or for drinks on the weekend turned into playdates with our children and discussions about this new thing called motherhood!

Our encounters together became fewer and farther between and when we did see each other, it was mostly at the playplace at the mall followed by a Happy Meal lunch at McDonald’s. Then she had her second baby ..And, then I had mine!

Through all of this, she remained a steadfast single mom with a full-time job, all-the-while attending nursing school on the side! Is there even a side next to mothering and full time work? She made it so there was! When she graduated, you better believe my family and I were there at the ceremony with bells on! It is absolutely possible that I have never known anyone in my life who exhibited such perseverance, determination and conviction through many not-so-easy times. And she did it! She’s amazing!

But guess what, we still made time for each other. We still remained friends through it all. She moved from this house to that one and then to another one and I would come and visit and see each new place and be amazed about how big her kids had gotten and her of mine since the last time we saw one another.

Things weren’t always gumdrops and rainbows for my friend, Tricia. We went through a lot together. A lot of changes happened through the last 12 years and even though, now-a-days, we maybe see each other once or twice a year and maybe talk little more than a handful of times during that time as well, we never forget about each other or stop caring.

Happy Times are Here Again…!

On Saturday last weekend, we got together for dinner- just she and I! We’ve grown up. Her oldest is almost 9 and mine just turned 8! I can’t tell you the last time she and I went for dinner-just us. I really can’t. The last time I saw her was under very unfortunate circumstances. And I add that because there is something really special going on, here. Over dinner she told me how very happy she finally is. Like I mentioned at the top of this post. Happy in a relationship. Happy in her job. Happy with her family. Just…Happy! 

Tricia and I…

Now we talk about mid-life and spotting grey hairs!!

And, isn’t that what it’s all about? In this thing called friendship? When you have that feeling deep in your heart of satisfaction and peace for a friend when they have come to a good place in life. Finally. It means so much. Live it now, my friend, you deserve it! 🙂